


darkness

by bricksiepicks23



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:41:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23567764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bricksiepicks23/pseuds/bricksiepicks23
Summary: After TK and Carlos adopted a little boy, who suffers from his past, they both have to deal with work and parenthood..
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

"He's having a nightmare again", TK whispered to Carlos who quietly entered the room of their 6 year old adopted son, to take a seat next to his bedside.

They both looked at Max, a worried glance on their faces.

They knew that the kid went through hell. His mom was murdered at their apartment by her boyfriend and the little boy had to witness everything from the neighborhood room. Max was the first who found his mother after she was stabbed with a knife multiple times.

The little one started to toss, turn and cry in bed.

With the screams and whimpers starting to get louder, TK decided to act. He wasn't able to see him suffering any longer.

"Shhh, Max. Wake up, buddy", the firefighter whispered, gently running his hand through the little boys hair. 

"Mom. No, Mom!", the 6 year old finally sat up in bed. He cried so hard that his whole body started to shake. Carlos sighed, while TK pulled the kid into a hug.

Meanwhile Carlos rubbed Max beck, who desperately sobbed into TKs shoulder.

"We got you. It's alright. It was just a dream", the firefighter soothed him and rocked him in his arms.

Max whimpered when the flashbacks hit him hard. That's when TK tightened his grip.

"It's okay, buddy. It's over. It won't happen again."

"Why couldn't I help her?", Max mumbled into TKs Shirt, making both men to look each other in concern. Seeing their son in such a vulnerable state nearly brought them to tears.

"You've been sleeping", Carlos whispered, before he whiped away some tears from Max cheek.

"But I should have heard her. If I would have been awake earlier, then…"

"No", Carlos interrupted the boy.

"Don't do that to yourself. It wasn't your fault. You're a kid. There is no way, you could have dealt with a 40 year old man."

Max sniffled heavily, giving his adoptive parents a desperate look.

"I miss my mommy", he finally admitted, when TK continued to rock him in his arms.

Tyler glanced at Carlos in a helpless way. Seeing Max like this gave him chills.

"Of course you do", Carlos whisphered, squeezing the little boys hand.

"Hey, how about visiting your mom tomorrow at the cemetery?", TK suggested , constantly stroking Max back.

"I know, it's not the same, but it might help."

Tiredly Max nodded his head.

His view wandered to Carlos, before he caught eye contact with TK again.

"Can you stay with me tonight? I don't want to fall asleep again."

Carlos gave him a sad look, gently stroked Max forehead.

"Sure. But you have to get some energy and that means you have to rest. Otherwise you will be tired tomorrow when we go to the zoo and meet grandpa at the firestation", TK tried to cheer him up.

"But there is no need to be afraid. Cause Daddy and I are going to catch all the bad dreams", Carlos promised.

Max smiled sadly, then finally closed his eyes. Carlos carressed his forehead.

The little boy still clutched on TKs arm, until he was overwhelmed by his tiredness and finally fell asleep again.

TK and Carlos looked at each other in concern.

At this moment, they realized they still got a long way ahead of them..

911-Lone-Star-911-Lone-Star-911-Lone-Star

"How's Max doing?", Owen asked TK after they stopped by at the fire station.

Carlos, who had to go to work, wasn't able to join them, what didn't change that Max had fun.

Obviously relieved, TK looked through the neighborhood room where the team started to explain the fire truck to his little boy.

Finally the fun ended, as soon as the memories of last night kicked in.

"It's bad. There are days, where you think he's on a good way, and then he's screaming and crying for his mom at night. It's still really intense."

Understandingly Owen nodded his head.

"It takes time. This is something that will have an impact on the rest of his life."

TK sighed, before he nodded in agreement.

"I know, Dad. But it's hard to see him suffering. There is no way we are able to replace his mother. We're doing all those things. Going to the cemetery, talking about her, looking at old photos, driving to Disneyland, but sometimes it's not enough."

"Maybe you should stop to force it."

"What do you mean?"

"You won't give him a second mom. All you can do is to accept him and to be there for him. He's got both of you and this is 10 times worthier than staying in a childrens home."

TK nodded in a thoughtful way.

The talk was interrupted by Max who ran towards his grandpa and father.

"Daddy, uncle Judd showed me your gear and I was allowed to sit in the truck."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Max wrapped his little hands around TKs waist. That's when the firefighter decided to take him on his arms.

"You like it here?"

"Can't we stay for longer?"

"What? I thought, you wanted to go to the zoo."

But Max shook his head.

"We don't have to. I'm okay to stay here with Buttercup. And Uncle Paul wants to build a lego fire truck with me."

Max smiled at his dad, who gave him a kiss on his head.

"That's really cool, buddy."

"So you're okay with it?"

"Sure, as long as you're happy?"

The kids smile got even brighter, then he jumped from TKs arms, running back to the rest of the team.

Tk looked at his father in surprise.

"Wow, didn't see that coming."

"He's growing up with you. What else did you expect? Never forget TK. It's not blood that makes you family."

TK gave Owen a big smile.


	2. Chapter 2

"How was the zoo?", Carlos wanted to know after his shift. He just returned home.

"I don't know", TK jerked, getting a strange look from his boyfriend.

"What? Why don't you know?"

"Because we never made it to the zoo. Max wanted to stay at the firehouse."

Carlos smiled in amusement.

"Why doesn't that surprise me?"

"Hey, last week he said he wanted to become a cop, so don't blame it on me."

Carlos smiled, giving TK a short kiss, before he hugged him.

The little gesture was interrupted by Max who stopped in front of them, already dressed in his pyjamas.

"Daddy, can you read me a goodnight story?", the 6 year old wanted to know. TK smiled at him.

"Sure. Did you choose one?"

Instead of answering, Max walked towards his parents, then straightly looked at Carlos.

"Dad, you're a cop, right?"

Since Max called TK Daddy and Carlos Dad, the police officer knew, that this question was meant for him.

He turned around, looked at Max in a consing way.

"Yes, why are you asking?"

"Can you tell me, why he did this? Why Johnny killed my mommy?"

Carlos gave TK a sad look, before he kneeled down to get in better eye contact with Max.

"Come on, let's go to the living room. This is something we just can't talk about in the kitchen."

They changed the room. Max crawled on the couch, before TK and Carlos set down on the left and right side, next to him.

"Okay, listen, big boy. Some people are really sick and I think your step father did something that isn't easy to deal with. It's really bad and his brain made him to do horrible things. And he also did this, because he grew up with parents that weren't nice to him."

"I hate him."

TKs eyes started to fill with tears.

"I know you do and you have any right to feel this way."

"Can you take me to prison? I want to tell him what I feel. How much I hate him."

TK gasped for air. It was a really emotional discussion, but Carlos shook his head.

"No, Max. I won't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because, I don't think you are ready for this. You're stepfather has to stay there for a very long time and when you're old enough, we will talk about this again, but right now, you're far too young."

Max gave him a disappointed look.

"I'm not", he wanted to start arguing, but Carlos denied.

That's when TK interrupted the discussion.

"Max, Dad is right. I don't think this is a good idea. You're still in treatment and we both wouldn't have a good feeling to allow you to be with him in one room. Not now. Even if Carlos is with you the whole time."

Max looked up, a devilish expression on his face.

"You don't understand me. You're like my stepdad", he whispered, then shut the door loudly before disappearing in his room. TK and Carlos gave each other a desperate glance.

TK already wanted to get up to talk to him, but Carlos held him back.

"Don't go. He needs time to deal with it on his own."

"Did you hear what he said?"

"Tyler, he doesn't mean it. He's just angry and he starts to cope with the events that happened during the last months. This is not against us. He's traumatized. It's his way to deal with the things that happened."

"And leaving him alone, while he cries his eyes out, fixes the problem?"

"Listen, you have to learn that we can't put all of the problems out of his way. Same goes to him. No one said that we don't comfort him. But he's angry now and putting him under pressure won't bring us far."

"I get it. We play good cop, bad cop here", TK mumbled, before he returned to the kitchen and left Carlos alone.

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Finally TK had his own way to deal with stress and anger of their 6 year old kid.

One hour later he just entered the room with a box of lego bricks and sit down on Max table. Normally the 6 year old did his homework there, but today TK used it as an ability to classify the old bricks by colors. Just minutes later he realized that his plan worked.

Max who was lying in bed finally put his blanket aside and came to the table to sit down next to his father.

No one said a word. They just sorted the bricks by their different colors and forms.

"Did you play with it before?", Max whispered after a few seconds were passing by. T.K nodded his head.

"Yup, when I was your age, my dad came home for christmas and gave me a lego fire station. The bricks still belong to it. But they are also from other sets. You know, this is what happens when grandpa put them all together in one box, because I was a really messy kid."

Max continued to organize all the red bricks in one area of the table.

They both continued for a long time, until the 6 year old started to speak again.

"Are you still mad at me?"

"No, because I know that this wasn't really you. It was more like the little boy inside of you that has trouble to deal with the things he saw."

"I didn't mean it. I just wanted to defend my mom. That's why I wanted to see John."

TK put the bricks aside, then looked at the 6 year old in shock.

"Because I couldn't save her."

"Buddy, there is no way to feel guilty about it. It wasn't your fault."

"Yes, it was. I couldn't protect her."

TK took a deep breath to avoid to freak out.

He knew Max did a lot of things that weren't common for his age. He went shopping to buy groceries, he bought pills for his mom and even did a lot of things to manage the household. During the first weeks, him and Carlos had to fight hard to show him what a normal childhood looked like and that it wasn't common to work like an adult did.

"Max, you're not supposed to do this. It wasn't your job to do what you did. You're a kid. Kids are supposed to have fun, to play, to learn and to grow up. They are not responsible for their parents in any way."

Max looked like TK explained to him how to work for the first time, then he started to cry.

He buried his face in his hands. Thats when TK moved closed and pulled him in a hug.

He said nothing, just sat there and held him, while Max cried into his chest.

TK gently rubbed his neck. A gesture that eventually calmed him down.

TK whiped his own tears away. It hurt him to see Max like this, even if he knew that it was good that he let go of all the emotions.

"Don't tell Dad, okay? I don't want him to think that I'm weak", Max sobbed before he glanced at TK, still tears in his eyes.

"Well, sometimes it's okay to be weak. I'm sure you had to be really strong before, so you can allow yourself to be weak now."

"Really?"

"Sure."

"Have you been weak before?"

"Yes."

"But you're a firefighter? They're not weak."

"Hey", TK whipped the tears from Max cheek.

"Who told you that you can't be weak when you're a firefighter?"

He sniffled, then raised and lowered his shoulders.

"Tim at school said that firefighters and police officers are never weak."

"Really? Then tell Tim that I'm really sorry for him, because this is bullshit. Weakness doesn't depend on a job or a qualification."

Max sniffled, then looked at his dad in surprise.

"Being weak means that you reach your limit and sometimes you even pass it. And it's okay to cry and to be weak, even if you're a boy, because it makes you human."

"Why aren't you mad at me? When I stayed at the orphanage and I made something bad, Mrs. Gardener would ground me for one week. But you don't", he said in a quiet tone. TK ran his hand through Max hair.

"Because I'm not Mrs. Gardener", TK smiled weakly.

"You know, there was a quote in my principals office when I was a teenager. I didn't get what it meant, until I became your dad."

"What did it say?"

"Love me when I don't earn it, cause that's when I need it the most."

TK wasn't sure if he really understood what it meant, but from the glance in Max eyes, he realized that the little boy tried to deal with it.

"Max, it doesn't look like it sometimes, but Carlos and I, we will always love you. Even if you're rude, angry or mad. And we know that you're trying to test us sometimes , just to see how far you can go and if you can trust us."

The 6 year old didn't look TK in the eyes. That's when he knew he was right.

"What about Dad? You think he will accept my excuse?"

"Sure he does", TK winked with his eyes.

"Tomorrow. After your good night story", he waved his head towards the bookshelf, gesturing that Max should choose a book that TK would read to him.

"Harry Potter."

"Alright", the firefighter commented his choice, while he organized the last bricks of his lego pile.


	3. Chapter 3

Just two hours later, Max had fallen asleep in TKs arms.

The firefighter had just ended the chapter of the story, when the door opened and Carlos sneaked into the room.

They glanced at each other, then looked at the little boy who was sleeping in TKs arms.

Carlos took seat next to Max bed side, gently touched his forehead.

"He's gonna be okay", TK promised, before he slowly got up and sat down next to Carlos.

"Sure?"

"Yeah, he's going to tell you that he's really sorry by tomorrow."

"I'm not resentful."

"I know, but I think it's a good idea to let him express the reason for his behavior to you."

Carlos shook his head. It wasn't a secret that they had trouble to understand why Max reacted the way he did. This finally made it hard to deal with their son.

"Why now? He was the loveliest kid when we took him in and now he's completely different."

TK smiled weakly. Already guessing the reason, he started to explain.

"He starts to feel safe and that's why he's probably testing us. How far can I go? Do they still love me?"

Carlos looked at TK in an irritated way.

"Wait, you think he forces us to get pissed and angry at him?"

Tyler nodded his head.

"Yeah, that's it. He tries to figure out if he can rely on us."

"Wow, that's a thing. Your dad is right."

"What are you talking about?"

"He said you should qualify as a child therapist."

"God, did he really say that?"

"Do I look like Im kidding?"

Carlos didn't answer. They just smiled at each other in amusement.

911911911911911

The next day started as normal as usual.

Carlos drove Max to school and TK went to work.

They were called to a car accident. A young mother had got hit by another vehicle. Nothing out of the ordinary just a normal day of work.

But everything finally changed, when Owen entered the break room. The team already wanted to prepare for meal when he interrupted the situation.

The look on his fathers face told TK that something was really wrong. Owen seemed really concerned and definitely not like he received any good news.

"Tk? I got a phone call from Max school. They want you to pick him up."

„What happened?"

Tk jumped up from his chair, already thinking about the worst, when his father supplied him with further information.

"He hurt another boy. His teacher sounded really concerned."

TK rolled his eyes and sighed.

"You've got to be kidding me, right?"

"I wish I was."

"Grat. What the hell happened?", Tk shouted to himself, before he jumped into the car , making his way to the school.

Finally his dad was right. The principal directed him into her office to have a serious talk.

"Mr. Strand, I'm sorry to call you, but we are really worried about Max."

She gave him a serious glance. His eyes reflected her expression.

"What did he do?"

"Well, Mr. Gardener witnessed how Max attacked one of his classmates. He just returned to the class room and found both boys fighting on the ground. He tried to solve the problem, but some other kids said that Max started the fight. Im sorry, but we dont tolerate violence at our school, so we decided to suspend Max for a week."

TK closed his eyes in disbelief. He couldn't believe what she told him.

"What? A suspension?", he stumbled, trying to clear his thoughts.

"He's having a really hard time right now. I know ist not an excuse, but I'm sure your colleagues told you how he lost his mother."

She nodded in concern.

"That's why we avoid to involve child services."

Child services? TK swallowed hard. He knew what this meant. It could cause a red flag for their ability to adopt Max. Since their were under probation, they were still able to put him into another family.

"Child services? Why?"

"Mr. Strand, Max behavior seemed especially noticable since some weeks. He seems tired and really sad sometimes."

"We're in treatment. I mean, Max still is. We have a really good child therapist, but this takes time."

She nodded in understandment.

"That's what we suspected, so we didn't wanted to overreact. But maybe it's necessary to intensify treatment? Listen, I know what you and Mr. Reyes do for him, but you have to understand that we can't tolerate violence at this school. We have to protect the other children."

TK nodded his head, before his helpless view wandered to the window. He couldn't believe what came to his ear…

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"Max, we've got to talk. Now."

TK stopped his car in front of the fire station, before he looked at the little kid reproachfully.

"Why did you beat up this boy? What happened?"

But Max remained in silence. Not a single word left his mouth.

"Okay, so I have to call Carlos. Maybe you want to tell him more", he already pulled out his phone, when Max touched his arm and looked at him with wide eyes, so he put it back.

"Talk to me. Why did you do this?"

Max shrugged his shoulders, then started to talk.

"Jordan was mean to me. He said really bad things to me."

"What bad things?", TK wanted to know, when Max refused to give him more information. Thats when he finally broke the silence.

"He said, you and Dad are gay. And that we're not a normal family. That gay people can't get children and that I should have never been born."

Tyler looked at his son in shock.

"I was so angry, that I just hit him. I don't know why but... he was so mean and I stopped thinking."

TK sighed.

"Okay, buddy. We both know that this wasn't fair. But beating him, can't be the answer and deep inside you know this. Violence doesn't solve any problems."

"Maybe."

"No, not maybe. Definitely. You're going to say sorry to Jordan."

"What?"

"Let me end my sentence. You're going to say sorry to Jordan for beating him. Not for the things he said. Me and Carlos are going to talk to your teacher and Jordans parents. However, this doesn't change that you wont use your fists to argue, right?"

"Yes, Daddy."

"Okay."

Max looked at the fire station, before he glanced to his father.

"Where do I stay for the next 7 days?"

TK sighed.

"Honestly, I dont know yet, buddy. We are going to talk about that later, when Dad comes home, right?"

"Okay."

The discussion was interrupted by Owen, who made his way to the car.

Max jumped out and greeted him with a hug, before he ran inside the fire house.

With TK not getting out of the car, Owen decided to take a seat next to his son in the parked car.

"I know your „everything is fine face" and that's definitely not it."

"Why is it so damn hard to raise a child?"

"No one said it's gonna be easy."

"I'm running out of options here. He's completely messing it up and I don't know how I can stop him. Not to talk about the problem who is going to look after him for the next days."

Owen sighed, smiling at his son weakly.

"What if I'm taking him in. He loves the fire house and the whole family."

"Really? You sure about that?"

Owen nodded confident.

"This is the last thing you should think about right now. There are other things to worry about."

"If child services finds out, we gonna have a really big problem. The principal promised me not to alert them, but I'm not so sure about it."

"Did you talk to Max? Have you asked him, why he did this?"

TK moved his head.

"He got bullied because of me and Carlos. There is a kid in his class that got really mean to him and said things like we are gay and that we're not a normal family. All that stuff."

Owen looked at his son sympathetically.

"I'm so sorry."

"I'm not the one you should be sorry for. I'm more sorry for Max. It's not like we didn't expect something like this, but we didn't expect it that early."

"Do you mind if I talk to him? Maybe we could do a project with his class or something like this?"

"You think it's a good idea?"

"I think it's important to talk about it."


	4. Chapter 4

"Great, T. K. So what shall we do now?";

Carlos looked at his friend helplessly, while TK gave him with a serious face expression.

"My father plans a project with Max's class. To get to know our team and to sensitize the kids for different cultures, ways of life and religions. "

"And that's the solution?"

"What do you suggest? Change of school? Should Max start from zero?"

"One has nothing to do with the other. Nobody says that the boy did a good job, but Max shouldn't have hit him. "

"He's angry, Carlos. Aggressive. You don't compensate this by sending him to soccer games once a week. "

"Maybe we should be tougher. Perhaps we're far too kind. "

"Tougher? This kid suffers from PTSD. Do you think he'll do better by forbidding everything?"

"No, but maybe we should talk about our roles. I feel like I'm always the asshole and the father who forbids everything and you're like a mother here who stabs me in the back. "

"Stab you in the back? Are you serious? Do you think I'm praising him for what he did today? You think that it was great to beg the principal not to report him to Child Protective Services?"

Dissatisfied, Carlos shook his head.

"This doesn't get us anywhere, does it?"

Frustrated TK crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Not really. "

"Maybe it's a good thing that Max is with your dad for now, and they all look after him in the firehouse during the day. " Carlos stared out the window thoughtfully.

"Maybe we're just pushing it too hard?"

"You're not questioning the whole adoption, do you?"

"I don't know what I want to say. I just don't get why he seems so aggressive right now. "

T. K. had a very meaningful look at his partner.

"Because he wants to be loved. " Carlos sighed, causing Tyler to reach for his hand.

"Come on, don't give up on him now. He grew up in broken relationships. He doesn't know any other way. If he is disappointed again now and we let him down, he has no future. " Carlos squeezed T. K. 's hand.

"I'm not giving up on him. I'm just scared. "

"I'm scared, too. When I imagine that they will take him away from us. " T.K shook his head.

"I never thought it would happen so quickly. That I can develop father feelings. But he's my son now. Even if he doesn't have my genes. "

"Our son,"; Carlos corrected him and gave T. K. a long hug.

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"Tell me, didn't Max wanted to stay with your dad tonight?"

Puzzled by the question, TK stepped into the living room and looked at his boyfriend in disbelief.

"Sure. Why do you ask?"

"Because he's outside the door?"

Irritated, Carlos opened the door, starring at Max and Owen in confusion.

The two men looked at the visitors in surprise.

"Hey, what's going on?"

Owen grinned at Carlos and TK, then looked back at Max.

"The young man here wants to tell you something."

Before Carlos knew it, Max hugged him and clung to him.

"I'm sorry for what I did today. I wanted to apologize."

"Hey."

Carlos took him in his arms and wiped the tears from his face.

"I'm not angry anymore."

"Really?"

Carlos moved his head forward.

Max sniffed, then pointed to the next room.

"I also forgot my teddy. I can't sleep without Riley. That's why we're here. "

TK grinned in amusement, then disappeared into the next room before returning with the soft toy.

"Here he is. Was already waiting for you. "

Owen winked at his son before turning back to the boy Carlos had put down on the floor.

"Are we going back to the fire station now? 

"Sure. Are you ready for our bedtime story? "

Max nodded his head enthusiastically before turning back to his parents.

"I love you," he beeped softly before disappearing outside with his grandfather.

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"And? How was the night? ", TK asked his dad the next day when he started his shift.

Owen looked skeptically at his son before he glanced at Max, who was building in the back corner of the station in full concentration at his police station.

"Do you mean the calls or the little one?"

"Both?"

His father sighed heavily.

"He still has nightmares. Out of 6 hours he might have slept 4 and in the meantime we went out because some crazy guy had a party in the elevator at 3 in the night. "

"Oh shit, I'm sorry."

Owen shrugged and shoulders.

"Did he tell you what his dreams are about?"

Owen made a serious face.

"Not really, but it fits to your descriptions. He wakes up, calls for his mother and cries. When I ask him about it, he blocks it, but tries to get close to me. I finally allow him to sleep in my bed. When someone is with him, he can calm down. "

TK nodded in understanding.

"TK, you really should discuss this with the therapist. This is not a nice permanent state for a child and not for you either. "

"What do you think we're doing all the time? Mrs. La Moore has suggested a number of things, but if he doesn't talk about what he is dreaming of, the possibilities are limited. The only thing we know is that he feels guilty about not being able to have helped his mother and only woke up when she was almost dead. "

"It's a huge thing. Imagine you are 5 years old, sleep in the next room and wake up to screams. When you dare to go into the kitchen, your mother is covered in blood, lying unconscious on the floor. "

"I know."

"Have you considered to allow him to stay in your room at night? When you were little and you used to dream badly, we let you sleep in the middle of the bed. "

"I know, but the therapist says that we can't give up our area, because he can get used to it."

Owen raised his eyebrows critically, looking at his son in disbelief.

"Maybe you should rather look for a new therapist. Because the current one doesn't seem the best choice. That's the biggest nonsense I've ever heard. To let a traumatized child sleep alone in his room. No wonder he dreams badly all the time. "

"Do you think so?"

"TK," Owen put his hand on his son's shoulder.

"What this boy needs is trust and security. And you certainly won't achieve that. Don't make the same mistakes I made. The little one needs you. Both."

"Yes, but we also have our jobs. How else is that supposed to work? "

Owen smiled sadly.

"What Max shows now with his behavior is what the young TK tried in his early 20s on another level. Your son wants you to see him. That you perceive it and set limits. Limits that I should have set for you. Which I didn't set for you because I worked long shifts."

TK glanced at Owen in a sad way.

"You have 2 options. Either he spends most of his childhood here, which would be possible, or one of the two of you has a shorter career and works part-time. "

TK sighed, looked at his father indecisively.

"I am the wrong contact for this. You should discuss this with Carlos. "

"Thanks anyway. Also that Max can stay with you. "

Owen gave his son a weak smile.


End file.
